Monday, January 27, 2014

Hold on to Your Kids and Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids


Hold on to Your Kids was fantastic.  I was concerned at first since much of the book scared me decently.  There is a lot here about the nature and effects of peer-orientation in children, but it's worth that process since many koans of wisdom are throughout even those parts.  There are practical steps towards reorienting attachment and keeping our kids close in a healthy way.  It was a great overview sort of perspective in terms of why we do what we do in our interactions with our kids.  
I first heard of Gordon Neufeld because of a youtube that had some of a talk he gave about how children need rest and how unconditional love is what they rest in.  I found it to be right on.

Then I found out that Todd Sarner of Transformative Parenting interned with him and that he aligns much of his own thinking and strategies with Neufeld.  He has a free video series/class on the website and then another free one that's a limited time course (the Parenting Pathway).  Both have been wonderful. (I found out about Todd since he helped produce Kim John Payne's Soul of Discipline courses.)

Here's the gem I'm reading now. :)  At the beginning it seems a little redundant to me in that I realize that I have to be calm to help them be calm and that I need to work through my own issues and frustrations so that I can be present and the adult in the interaction.  But she really does knock my socks off sometimes in the book.  There are also practical ideas in this book to build an even stronger relationship with the girls.  So far, this one has been great too.  I already keep up with Dr. Markham's site--she offers a newsletter.  I also like how her site breaks things down by ages.

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